I Can Speak Backward

A more personal note than is usual for this blog

I have the ability to speak backwards. Perhaps I should say I nac kaeps sdrawkcab. Siht lliks si larutan, ev’I neeb elba ot od ti ecnis tuoba eht emit I saw ni driht edarg. ¹

If you give me a sentence, I’ll be able to say it backward quickly. I do not change around the order of the words, I just pronounce words as they would be pronounced if they were backward. At one point, for a talent show at a summer camp, I sang American pie backwards².

This talent, while cool, is totally useless. People often imagine that it would be useful at parties. A few points are worth noting about this common claim. First, as my extensive writings on philosophy may inductively suggest, I do not go to many parties³. Second, it’s fairly impractical to deploy at parties, for it does not arise naturally in conversation, and it just seems like showing off⁴.

I’m not the only person who can speak backward⁵. Strangely, I cannot fluently understand the other people who speak backward — it seems it is a language I can speak but not hear, at least, not well. There’s even a very short Wikipedia article about it.

Despite my ability to speak backward, I am terrible at learning foreign language. Truly, mind-numbingly terrible. Unimaginably bad. If foreign language were the bar exam, I would do badly on the bar exam⁶.

I nac osla epyt sdrawkcab, ti dluow mees. Siht si yllautca hcum reisae naht gnikaeps sdrawkcab, dna I epyt ta ralimis deeps drawrof dna sdrawkcab. Fi ylno I dluoc dnatsrednu ti yltneuqerf dna I wenk srehto ohw ekops ti yltneuqerf, neht ew dluoc evah ruo nwo ngierof egnaugnal.

Ebyam eht nosaer m’I os desoppo ot seiroeht taht era ton msinairatilitu si esuaceb I wonk tahw gnikniht sdrawkcab skool ekil, dna I tnaw enon fo ti ni ym evitamron scihte.

I have trouble mentally flipping words more than 8 or so letters — though it’s not at all consistent. For example, I have no trouble flipping creationist (tsinoitaerc), gainfulness (ssenlufniag), cabinetmaking (gnikamtenibac), or even unconstitutionality (ytilanoitutitsnocnu) but I’ll sometimes have trouble with seven-letter words⁷. It’s easier when words are conjuncts of two words —metalmakers is easy (srekamlatem).

I don’t really know how I do it. I am genuinely not introspectively aware of how I do it. I just sort of know what words are backwards — the way that most people do forwards.

Well, hope this deep dive into my total useless talent was interesting! In future articles, we’ll return to more interesting subjects — like a 249th reason utilitarianism wins outright.

1. Grammarly, which I got today, is informing me of many spelling errors

2. Badly!

3. Further evidence for this claim is that going to parties is inversely correlated with starting sentences with ‘as my extensive writings on philosophy may inductively suggest.’

4. Of course, if I blog about it, that’s not showing off.

5. I am, however, the best! And the most humble!

6. Note in this case the use of if, rather than if and only if (iff). Even were the bar not foreign language, I would still do badly on it!

7. I can’t recall any off-hand, but there were some!