10 Theories Better Than The Resurrection
The resurrection is a terrible explanation of anything
Theists think there’s no good naturalistic explanation of the resurrection appearances, involving an empty tomb and post resurrection appearances. There are major doubts about these facts—they’re probably false, but even if they’re true, there are way better naturalistic explanations. Here are 10
Fodor defends it better than I could.
2 Someone stole the body
Who could have done it? Lots of people including the disciples, grave robbers, jewish leadership, Jesus’ family, or someone else. What’s wrong with this account.
Well, one thing trotted out is the tomb guard would have stopped it. The tomb guard is nonsense, however.
Some will say that the robbers would have stolen the burial wrappings, but John and Luke said they didn’t. However, Luke and John are written late enough to be super unreliable, it’s a very plausible embellishment, the grave robber could have made a mistake or have some principled objection, or it could have been stolen by disciples, jewish leadership, or Jesus’ family.
If the disciples stole the body that explains their claims of post resurrection appearances. If only some of them stole it, the others who weren’t in on it would likely have had similar appearances given how much people are affected by others religious experiences. The conversion of Paul can be explained the way Fodor does as can the conversion of James.
3 Jesus surviving as Carrier argues persuasively. He writes
“
A = Odds of Surviving Several Hours on the Cross: 33% (0.33) [II]
B = Odds of Being Drugged: 1% (0.01) [III]
C = Odds of Being Mistaken for Dead if he was not Drugged: 0.1% (0.001) [V]
D = Odds of Being Mistaken for Dead if he was Drugged: 50% (0.50) [V]
E = Odds of Surviving the Spear Wound: 10% (0.10) [VII]
F = Odds that Spearing Story is False: 75% (0.75) [VII]
G = Odds that there were no Guards: 33% (0.33) [VIII]
H = Odds of Jesus Escaping Tomb Given at Least a Day Unguarded: 20% (0.20) [IX]
K = Odds of Guards Being a Day Late: 80% (0.80) [IX]
L = Odds of Jesus Escaping Given Immediate Guards: 1% (0.01) [IX]
M = Odds that Whole Event Was a Well-Planned Trick: 1% (0.01) [XI]
N = Odds that Whole Story Was Made Up Later: 10% (0.10) [XI]
P = Odds that Whole Story Started from a Mistake or Delusion: 50% (0.50) [XI]
Q = Odds of Such a Well-Planned Trick Being Successful: 25% (0.25) [XI]”
He concludes the odds of it are 1 in 6800—better than the odds of a royal flush happening naturally.
Now let’s compare it to the resurrection which requires positing
A God existing (.0001)
B God having a son with a virgin (.001)
C His son also being him in a weird trinity way (.01)
D His son writing nothing (.1)
E His son dying on the cross (.01)
F His son condemning handwashing (.00001)
G His son cursing a fig tree (.1)
H His son not providing any clear evidence of his revelation (.001)
I Most of the gospels describing his son being recognized as nonense (.01)
J The gospels telling of his divine son being contradictory (.01)
K Him telling false prophecies about the end times coming within the lifetime of people living at the time (.001)
L Not meeting many jewish prophecies (.01)
Etc. We can keep going, but just from this we get 1e-30, which is orders of magnitude less likely than the resurrection.
4 Jesus could have a secret twin.
5 Jesus could be raised by an aliens. This is a terrible explanation but still better than Jesus. The probability of aliens is higher than that of God and the odds they’d resurrect Jesus are similar.
6 Some trickster deity could ressurect it. The theory that there’s a non omnibenevolent trickster deity explains hiddenness, evil, inconsistent revelation, and others.
7 The disciples could have visited the wrong tomb.
8 Demons could have stolen Jesus’ body and caused disciples revelations.
9 The people putting the body in the tomb could have put it in the wrong tomb.
10 The body could have broken down very quickly by some unknown naturalistic explanation or some supernatural explanation.
These are much better explanations of the appearances. It explains why the appearances didn’t come to anyone else except Paul, and fanatical followers. Given the vast number of people who were persecuting the Christians, it’s very plausible that at least some of them would have felt guilty and hallucinated. Why wouldn’t Jesus
A Appear to many people?
B Appear to world leadership?
C Produce writing after his death?
D Appear to new people far away?
E Do public preachings?
F Appear to Pontius Pilate?
G Condemn antisemitism after his death?
H Perform widely verifiable public miracles like creating brilliant sohws of lights in the sky for all to see?
etc.
Thus, resurrection is a terrible hypothesis.
My theory is that Jesus got away. When the authorities showed up at the Garden of Gethsemane, everyone scattered. The authorities didn't know what Jesus looked like, which was why they paid Judas to point him out. Even though Judas saw that Jesus had gotten away, he wanted to keep the thirty pieces of silver, so he pointed to someone who hadn't gotten away and said, "That's Jesus!" The authorities took Judas's word and crucified someone else. The disciples who got away went into hiding so they didn't know that the wrong guy had been crucified. Jesus made his way back to Galilee and tried to lay low, but he was spotted a few times so moved to parts unknown.
You claim that Jesus was not resurrected, but how do you account for the fact that the Bible says he was?